A cup of tea... anyone?

I'm such a sucker for weddings... This is so bloody beautiful and oh, Alex's vows are so true and honest! It is so heartwarming since Alex is known as the "playboy doctor" in Grey's Anatomy and seeing how he readily commits to Izzie! And how about Meredith giving up her wedding day to a cancer-fighting Izzie! Simply awesome friendship there! *sobs* Grey's never fail to deliver a meaningful scene!

On a side note, I had a conversation with mum about weddings...
Mum: When u get married, let's have a garden wedding! Oh, and let's not invite all those meddling aunties!
Me: O_O Um... maybe find someone who wants to marry me first!

Mini hint to me to faster get a bf!

I went to my first ever job interview on Monday and sadly, it was not a success. They liked me but later on found someone better. I was this close!

What can I say? I am Crushed. Disappointed. Shattered. Frustrated.

:(

I think I died a bit inside. Nicola said maybe the job wasn't meant for me. But, I don't know. No one will ever know if it was meant for me or not. My mum tried to comfort me and said there will be better jobs out there but this job was prefect. I couldn't find anything to dislike or hate!

But, oh wells. I should keep searching. I guess this is a start. First interview is always a start to more interviews. I need to trust God more. He closes this door and I need to trust him to open up more doors. No matter how hopeless the situation is I need to trust in his faithfulness and believe because there's only so much we, puny humans can do. After that, I read up James. I love the book of James. Occasionally, I would just lie in bed and read it. It gives me so much comfort and hope and just that little bit of strength to get over myself and get up and get moving.

I especially like this verse. James 1:12 : "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." This verse has definitely helped me throughout this year and helped me to not give up and continue fighting when faced with disappointment and fear.

It's winter here in Melbourne. It is also a wintery stage in my life. My life has come to a mundane stop with not much progress as of yet. It definitely is a period where I evaluate and plan ahead and search in myself God's will for me. As I wait, I will choose to get closer to God. I will honour God this way. While I wait for the right job and the right guy, I will choose to look to God for guidance and strength coz right now all I need is strength and perseverance. They say waiting is the hardest. But, I truly believe everything will happen when I'm in the right mindset and I'm in the right way with God. Because there's nothing else I would rather do than wait. It's all I've got, to humble down and wait at His feet. I realised that all through the waiting, I've unknowingly become bitter with myself and with God and with everyone around me. Instead of seeking and turning to God, I've unconsciously turned away. And as a result, it has made myself worst than bitter. The Lord has promised good to those who love Him. I guess I have to search in my heart to love Him more and honour Him with everything I've got. I will come out stronger than before. I need to trust in Him more and believe in His almighty plan.