A cup of tea... anyone?

I have got no motivation for uni. I thought I would be more motivated seeing this is my last semester but, sigh... I'm just so not excited about uni. The thought of going to lectures despise the heck out of me. I can't be bothered opening a book and I'm just so lazy to even write. Everyday, I just can't wait to leave class and go home. A part of me just wants to get through this semester without doing work or scrapping with a pass and get uni over and done with. I just don't know why!! My units are interesting and I love them. Maybe this long break has rusted my brains and numbed my fingers, making it harder to get back onto the uni band-wagon. Or maybe, the thought of not coming back to uni next semester is depressing.

Worst is, I don't know what the other half of the year will be like. It seems so hopeless that I just want to stop trying and just see where this all leads me. It seems like my dream of moving into investment equity/corporate finance area, work in Sydney (most investment banks are there!) and and hopefully be a CFA (in the near future) is nothing but a complete utter dream that just sits there and occupy my mind. I also have this crazy dream of one day working and living in Asia, especially China. I don't know why of all places, China. It's weird, that's why it's crazy. People say dream big but, dreams can be crazy illusions that eat up our thoughts. As much as I like it to happen, a part of me just tells me that I'm kidding myself and should stop dreaming. The more I dream, the more I see the odds of it not happening. A part of me wants to pursue it but it seems like the more I try, the further the dream is. It seems like someone is cheekily yanking an invisible string and no matter how hard I try to get closer, it just slips away like that and we're back to square one.

Again, maybe I should stop trying and see where this all leads me.