A cup of tea... anyone?

It's true, I haven't gotten over him. Yes, the feeling has died down abit. Yes, I've stopped thinking about him for quite sometime. But, the feeling is still very much alive! Every time I stepped into church, all I could think about is him. Like just this morning, I thought to myself, 'oh, I might bumped into him'. And whenever I see his friends, the first thing that pops into my head is him. Like just this morning when I saw his very closest friend and my thought immediately switched and all I can see is his beautiful, tanned face. And when I see him (which the last time was 2 weeks ago), my heart still beats extremely extremely fast! It's like my heart will skipped a beat and if I don't take deep breathes, I might forget to breathe. He's just such a mesmorising figure, both inwards and outwards. So much so that he takes my breathe away. Every time, I'll try to stop myself from looking at him, this beautiful beautiful man of God, because I know I'm not helping myself. I'm just doing myself more harm then good because there is no way this will work. Maybe we aren't meant to be. But, why... why... do I always take a second glance? Why do I still think there's a chance? Is this even love? or some stupid infatuation? Frankly speaking, I don't know what is the best thing to do, to give up and walk away? or just to continue believing that a miracle will happened? A part of me wants to continue putting faith in God. There must be a reason why I met him. A reason we know not of. There must be an ending to this "story". And I will not suffice till I get the ending.