A cup of tea... anyone?

It's someone's bday tomorrow. It's obvious that I haven't gotten over him.

Well, but, happy 21st. I really wished to wish u in person but um... i can't. I want to, but circumstances are so against me now. So, have a blast. Strangely enough, I feel excited for someone else's birthday and we barely even know each other for long.

On another note, FOF was good. We ended up playing really dumb games (ahem kenneth!) and really overly intelligent games. Aaron's diagram was epic!! omgee and David's albatross story. I think I'm having nightmares about it. HAHA. But, still... it was fun to just laze around and see people get so enthusiastic and excited about these impromptu games.

Yep. Back to investment. ugh.plain ugh.

okay... maybe I was wrong. Yes, I was wrong (u don't hear that from me everyday ey?). Maybe I've over-reacted. Maybe I just need to loosen up and lighten up and just go with the flow.

Maybe Ivie is right, maybe we'll look back and be grateful for each other. I am starting to feel grateful that he's there. It feels good to have someone take the lead and know that there's someone I can fall back on. I like how he sometimes does things out of the blue that wows me and yeah, I can say it's super nice to have unexpected surprises like that once in a while. Every time, it makes my heart flip and I will smile like nuts when I think about it, seriously, make my day a whole lot better.

It's funny to think he's the person that made me realise how a perfectionist I am. I mean, I've always known I'm a perfectionist but not to an extreme level. It's true, I've forgotten how to be free again. Sometimes, I have to just let go and let him make decisions and do things at his own pace. It isn't easy for me to be the "by-stander" because I'm used to always be the "leader" and always in-control and making sure things are done "perfectly" and according to my standard. But it's something I gotta learn and am still learning.

Lord, I know there's a reason we were put together. I know there are things You want to show me, things that I'm blinded to see about myself and other things. Lord, I want to learn from him. I want us to learn from each other. I want this to be a team with one vision that is to be at Your calling at all times. Lord, help me to trust him more. Amen.

Setting: Friday BS with the Dynamites!

Someone (I think it was KH): Why Nicola didn't come today arh?
Me: Coz her mum's here.
Aaron: Har? She's here? WHERE?!?!!
All: LOLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!ROFL!!!!!!LMAO!!!!

We laughed like nuts... Oh boy... it still makes me laugh like nuts when I think of it. And Aaron did it so innocently, which makes it 1000 times funnier. HAHA!!! A second later after all the hysterical laughing, Ming Han even did an impersonation of Aaron: Har? She's here? WHERE? *big eyes looking at left and right frantically*

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! My cell is nuts.

I am still very very very very angry at that person. I wrote a post about it but decided not to publish it. I've blocked him on msn and fb. Yep, that's HOW annoyed I am!!! Even reading his replies on email makes my blood boils. Even seeing his name on my inbox makes me roll my eyes in utter disgust. And group tagged photos of him makes me shut my eyes and scroll to the next photo.

I am very annoyed. No joke. I am very pissed off to my bones. He's just a selfish, selfish person. It doesn't matter whose fault it is, I don't care, it's HIS fault!!! I'm the nice one here. Too nice in fact. It is my pitfall for being too nice. And to think I have to pretend that nothing happened in front of him and that it's okay and to hide all my angry emotions and that he can get away with it doubles the fury in me.

No, I am not okay. I'm sorry Lord for coming from a camp of Love and feeling this way. I've been patient enough!! I've sacrifice so much YET! He couldn't care less!! couldn't appreciate me!! and couldn't be there for me!! This is not cool for me. Not cool at all!!