A cup of tea... anyone?

Lord, u ALWAYS reduced me to tears. Overwhelmed tears.

Sometimes, it's just too much to handle. Sometimes, it feels so heavy inside. It feels so breathless, so painful, so tight at the throat and chest. Like last BS, when I reached home, while in my room, I just couldn't control my tears. The weird thing was I was 100% fine before, I was happy, jumpy and lively. BS was a success!! And for no reason, I just broke down and warm tears just gushed out like in a click, without me realizing!! It certainly surprised me, I was like why am I crying for no reason?

Lord, I'm overwhelmed by everything You're doing. Now, I know what the feeling is to have happy, godly tears.

But, then, after crying, I feel so good. Maybe this is how God is helping me to release my emotions. Maybe because I don't know how to feel, how to react, the Holy Spirit just had to get me to feel in a certain way. It's true when you're with God alone, true emotions are on show. True, genuine feelings.

Gosh, I'm crying now. GAH.

Finallyyy.... I have a FREE Saturday after like 1234567 years!! And it feels mighty good!!!

I started the day with a cup of green tea (how very therapeutic)!!! And then I cleaned my room (which made me feel even better!) and then after that I immediately went into study!! And it was productive. I finished all four weeks of performance work (eg. readings and tute!) Yay! Go me!! I kinda feel better now given that I did not attend any lectures at all (No, it's not something to be proud of) Then, had a mini nap, and it felt amazingly GOOD!!! Then, I finished up on performance.

In short, today was very relaxing. It feels so good to have one day, just lazing around at home in my PJs. It feels good to just do everything in my own pace without worrying too much about the time. It feels good to slow things down and block everything out.

I am in need of more days like this! And to think I will have more makes me feel even BETTER! hehe...

I've turned 21!! Wow.....

I had family dinner the day before and mum got me a black forest cake and the OCFers crashed my room and got me a hazelnut cake. Then, Dynamites! got me a green tea cake. Now, I am very sick of cake now!! But thanks heaps guys. Oh, and... Dynamites! Thanks for the card!! I love it!!!

Mum always reminds me about her pregnancy when my birthday comes. She will always bring up her surgery. She said she had some complications during her labour (with me of course!). Mum said the umbilical cord got wrapped around my neck and mum had to undergo surgery just to get me out! I am forever grateful for mum. (Luv u!!) And yeah, to think God spared me makes me think I'm meant for a bigger purpose in life. Well, I don't just think now, I DO believe God has a greater purpose for me.

Yes. I'm 21. And I have yet to have my 21st party yet. Haih. I think I grow up too fast. I don't even know how to have fun anymore!!

Today is a good day. There should be more of today.

For starters, I didn't missed the bus. :) I thought I did, coz the bus was 5 minutes late. But, oh boy, am I happy to finally see the bus rocking up.

Then, I saw JUNA!!!! in the train!!! Omg. I haven't seen her in ages. So, we just talked. She said she's finishing her first stage of her project and going to do her other half in Kuching. And she said her family's planning to come stay in Aus. for 2 years. I will keep praying for u!!!

And then, tute was good. I finally made friends. 2 in my tax law tute and 1 in my lending tute. HAHA. All of them Msian. And I bumped into Richard and Julian, my FM buddies!!!

I came home and saw mum's surprise pressie for me. I love it!!! Mum says it's for keepsake. Yep, I love my mum. Then, we went to Glenny to walk around. We had ice creams and KFC. hehe...

So, yep. This is such a great day. I'm blessed to have so many people around me. Sometimes u just don't realised how blessed u are...

AND! My bday is next week!! I cannot wait.

was... interesting. It was good to see everyone opening up to one another. I think we broke (more like melted) the ice the minute we got into our room, which is always nice. Our room sucks and we had difficulty with the game.

But, I must say, discussions could have been much better. It was fault on my behalf too as I could have been more prepared. I could have come up with more questions to ask to stir the discussion carefully, rather than following the questions given. And, also, be more controlling of the discussion, instead of allowing it to waver about. I'm still trying to think how to stop it from getting out of hand. Like seriously, it just got so out of topic. In the end, I was really confused. I was telling mum, and she's like... it's okay to go out of topic, you are still learning.

And... I was so hungry!! I had nothing since breakfast!! Lesson learned, EAT before u come!! Thanks to Kenneth for bringing me food. Omg, life saver. Although, I "hate" u for encouraging the out-of-topic discussion. Then, again, I wouldn't know what to do myself.

But, good start. At least we have got some where to move from.

I've quit my job.

It is a bitter sweet feeling. *sigh* I feel like crying now. Now, I'm thinking, is this a bad decision? But, it's not a sudden decision. I gave it a long hard thought and decide to stop working. This has got to be the hardest decision ever.

Why u ask?

Because I want to focus on other things, eg: uni and OCF leading, as well as giving myself abit of me time(which has been lacking quite abit). A speaker in church before said this :"Even though some things that You're doing are good things, favourable things in God's eyes, it may not be the right time to do it". This strongly spoke to me. And I take it as word's that God wants me to hear. And I remember someone saying: "if u see no point in what you are doing, then maybe it's a sign that u should stop." Yes, I don't see any point in working there anymore.

But, I want to thank God for giving me this job. I've learned so much from this job, gained so much experience and meeting alot of people from all walks of life. Getting this job was really random. It was my mum who told me about this job and ask me to go and inquire about it. Initially, I didn't want to coz that time was exam season and I was busy with exams and I thought meh, might not get it, why even bother? But, after a few pesterings from mum, I went in and talk to them. And they are like, okay... just submit ur timetable for next sem. and start next week!! Of course, I'm like err... okay.

Also, I want to thank God for the strength. It's very hard to study and work at the same time. It's very exhausting mentally and physically. And thank God for helping me with difficult customers and giving me the motivation (waking up at 6am on a sat is no joke!) and helping me with some issues I had with the baker (in short, we had an argument) and just coping with bad days.

Well, I have another week to go before I officially be unemployed. One door closes, a million door opens right? God, what do u have for me for the next chapter?

Car salespersons are the least trusted people on Earth, closely followed by real estate agents and MPs. HAHA. The most trusted ones are doctors, pharmacists and nurses, all in the medical field. And I got all of these from the Investment lecture.

Oh, and I got another thing from the Investment lecture which is to save up. I mean, the lecturer said it so convincingly. Save up, then invest, then get more money back. He said we're still young and have all the time in the world so, its good to put some money aside and make use of it. WOW. I'm determined to save up now.

Friday is giving me mixed emotion. I'm excited, scared, nervous, worried. But, for sure, I can't wait to see my beautiful cellies. :)