A cup of tea... anyone?

Sometimes I feel its hard to ask God for things. I dunno if anyone of you have ever felt like this. It's just so hard to ask. I just cannot bring myself to ask. I feel so selfish to ask for things. I feel it's wrong that I have all this list of things ready to be presented in front of God. It's like a presentation, where you say it once and that's it.

Remember about the job I applied, well, I haven't got a reply for it. A part of me wants to ask God for it but I cannot seem to bring myself to ask for it. It's just so hard to do so. Maybe because I haven't asked for it so nothing is happening? And about him. I want to ask God about it too. But, I just simply don't know how.

It's not like I have cut connections with God. It's just I find it hard to ask God's favor on MY things, yet I find it easy to pray about OTHER people's things. I know that God promises everything we ask. Ask and you shall find is it not? Then, why is it so hard to ask?

It's just so hard to utter the words "God, I need this! I need this NOW! Will You give it to me? Will You just make something happen? I'm desperately in need for that job, that guy, that grade! Will You for once make it happen? I cannot wait any longer! It's killing me within!"

Yes... these are the words I wanted to say, but I cannot bring myself to say it. I fail to say it in every prayer to God. It just leaves me tongue tied every single time.

God, I know You will provide. Lord, help me to learn to wait.